I have been a bit quiet lately, both in my blog posts and keeping up with my friends and family. I think my brain just gets drained so much by day to day emotion and all the other distractions we seem to have, that the thought of talking about it anymore than I have to just adds to my exhaustion. Robbie and I have been really busy and trying to fit in quiet time has now become a huge priority.
Spring finally decided to start this week and I have been so thankful for the break in the cold temperatures. However, the warmth brings a new wave of “firsts” that frankly feels unbearable to face. This morning we were running abnormally early and the girls insisted on riding their scooters. They eagerly pulled their scooters out of their winter hiding spots and excitedly raced around together on the driveway. As I watched them ride, I tried so hard to focus on the moment and not go where my heart immediately went. I tried not to look down where the scooters had been stored, because I knew what I would see. But I didn’t need to look. I knew what laid there, untouched.
Emilie loved her scooter and it was one thing she was truly fearless with. She would hike all the way up to the top of the driveway (which is pretty steep) and with a slight smirk on her face would fly down the hill, wind throwing her long hair wildly behind her. Then she would manage to stop herself in a matter of only a few feet, just shy of crashing into our bushes. Now, this was always my favorite part, the part where she would look out of the corner of her eye to see if I had watched. She understood how impressive her trick was and she wanted to know if I had noticed too. Oh, I miss that girl.
Last week our family was so touched to be invited to attend the Texas Ranger’s season opening game and have Robbie throw out the ceremonial first pitch. The Texas Rangers has always been and will always be Robbie’s favorite team. On December 13th, one of Robbie’s favorite players, Josh Hamilton, signed with a rival team, the Angels. This was a major blow for Robbie and he had been down that whole day because of it. When it was time to get Emilie at the bus stop that afternoon, Robbie insisted on going to get her. A few minutes later, I heard the garage door open and in burst Emilie with a big hug and a big idea. She pulled me down and whispered, “Mom, do you think we could take dad out to dinner tonight to cheer him up? He feels really bad about Josh Hamilton and I think he needs it.” I smiled and excitedly nodded in agreement. Our last night with Emilie was centered around cheering her daddy up and assuring him that the Rangers would still be okay without Josh Hamilton.
Watching Robbie throw out the first pitch for the game was an amazing experience. It filled me up with so much love from all those wonderful beautiful fans that cheered and cried right along with us. The Rangers were so respectful and cared so much about making sure that moment was a special one, and they succeeded. They honored our little Emilie.