Em’s Birthday

I remember feeling a surge of adrenaline and fear the moment my doctor said to me, “The baby’s heart rate dropped and we need to get her out.  I need you to push.”  My baby was in trouble and it was up to me to get her out.  I gathered everything in me and focused as hard as I could, she was in trouble and I knew I had to deliver her quickly.  Three pushes later Emilie came flying into this world (literally flying, the doctor almost dropped her because she came out with so much force).  She was healthy, she was perfect and I felt complete.

The day Emilie was born was truly a celebration.  Her life was beautiful.  It was full of mistakes, growth, love and bright colors.  She is no longer on this earth and that pain is in my heart all day and everyday.  I am dealing with this life that has been tainted by someone else’s bad choice.  But, I refused to let her birthday be tainted.  I knew it would hurt, but I wanted to celebrate the best I could to honor one of the most special moments in my life.  So…we did it Harry Potter style, just like she wanted.

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Thank you to an amazing husband that knew I needed to be away from home.  For a husband that loves and cares about me.  What a blessing.  The girls had an amazing time and we even managed to laugh with them.  He helped me “rise above” the bad this weekend and for that I will forever be grateful.

Happy birthday Em….I miss you.