After putting the girls to bed tonight, I found myself drawn to the sweet sounds of rain pouring through a slightly open window. I look at our newly demolished front yard and feel grateful it is starting to feel more like home. Our yard has been on the back-burner since purchasing this house a year ago. We spent all last year remodeling the inside and planning to focus on the yard later. As spring crept in, I started noticing the poor condition our yard was in. A full year of ignoring it had really caught up to us. Still, I didn’t know if I had it in me to tackle it.
I went over to a friend of mine, who also lost a child at Sandy Hook, for a visit. Her yard was amazing! I breathed in the fresh fragrance of her plants and the amazing peace and tranquility of her small stream flowing through the front of her yard. It was breath taking. I told her how impressed I was with her yard and she told me it had been a great healing tool for her grief.
Healing….gardening??? I have always hated yard work, but I thought, well maybe. So, I pumped myself up for yard work. I was ready to enjoy the peace and calmness. I got out all my tools and gloves and hit the weeds. Wow, I never knew weeds could be so difficult. Pulling and digging, the process seemed like slow motion. Madeline and Samantha were of course helping me, as any sweet 5 and 4 year old would. They flung dirt all around, tearing the tops of weeds off without properly pulling out the roots. That part I think was the most amusing part of the whole day. I got done with day one feeling sweaty, dirty and no where near healed.
But as the days went on and the project began to take shape, I found myself actually liking it. Since December it has been hard calling this house home anymore. But seeing the landscape take shape has really helped me love this home again. Love you feel when you put hard work into something and it becomes a part of you.
We decided to plant some rose bushes and daisies around the window to Emilie’s room. She would have loved that. She had such big plans for her own garden. Madeline and Samantha have also picked out the location for their gardens. Maybe all and all, this will help our family, and me for that matter….maybe?